Is that So?

We spent Thanksgiving in New Mexico with Tim' s family. We had a good time and charged up our love batteries from seeing family. It was a reminder of how much I like visiting the southwest and how I'll really miss going to Tucson for winter training.

Stop reading now, if you want balloons and ponies.

Some bad news is coming down the pipeline regarding the Trek/VW team for next year. Its a shame, but I guess all things must come to an end. Or like George Harrison sings ' All things must pass'.

I've been reading Ekhart Tolle's books lately trying to figure things out, like how to be more aware and conscious in the present moment. I might of mentioned before how much of my former life as a racer was spent reveling in past wins or worrying about future race results. And how I was basing a lot of my self worth on those results and fell apart at any criticism. I also would think that I have to do these intervals or workout to get the results that I want. The means(the intervals) were becoming something that I really didn't like even though I thought that the ends(winning a race) would justify it. There is this assumption that success or winning is in the future and the ends will justify the means. But the ends and the means are the same. And if the means didn't contribute to my happiness, then neither will the end.

I relate to what Tolle says. He talks about a king who is tired of his life and seeks out happiness, enlightenment and peace from a wise man. The king will pay any price for this knowledge. The wise man says it is too great a price for the king to pay for that knowledge, so he will give that knowledge to the king as a gift. The wise man gives the king a ring with the inscription: THIS, TOO, WILL PASS. Before you call anything good or bad, touch the ring and read the inscription. That way the king could always be at peace.

He talks about another scholar who is angrily confronted with (false) accusations by some townspeople. The scholar simply replies "IS THAT SO?" Instead of saying, 'how dare they?, don't they know who I am or how upstanding I am.' His non judgement of their accusations shows he is not attached to people's opinions of him. He also knows the fleeting nature of people's emotions and has chose to not resist them.

So what can you do about other people's decisions? Your bike sponsor chooses to take their marketing budget in another direction, that is the reality. In the past I might of said, how dare they? Don't they realize what an amazing person and racer that I am? I would be bitter and angry. I would blame them from holding me back on being successful. My ego would be offended.

Quoting Tolle now," What the world doesn't tell you- because it doesn't know- is that you cannot become successful. You can only be successful. Don't let a mad world tell you that success is anything other than a successful present moment. And what is that? There is a sense of quality in what you do, even the most simple action. Quality implies care and attention, which comes with awareness. Quality requires Presence."

Yes, its a rant. But I don't know how much of this blog is going to be about bike racing/rocket science any more.